i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
