im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
