I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
