I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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