Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
