Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize