I'm so fucking centered right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
