This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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