Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
