so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
