In the future we'll all be gay
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize