seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
