so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
