Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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