All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's Friday. Sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
