My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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