Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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