So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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