I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
