So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
