evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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