I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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