and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
