girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
