I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
