What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
