Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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