The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
