So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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