pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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