U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
