Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
