is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
