that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
