I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
