your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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