It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
