The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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