Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
