I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
