Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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