Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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