Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
