you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
