she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
