and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
