Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you traded sex for a burrito?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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