the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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