some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
