Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
