he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
