direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
