i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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