Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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