I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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