Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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