u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
