I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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