3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
