I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
