You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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