Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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